My Teachers
Main influences:
Khabjé Kalu Rinpoché was a Karma Kagyu lineage holder and the primary Shangpa Kagyu lineage holder of Vajrayana Buddhism until his death in 1989. He is my root guru.
I met Kalu Rinpoché when I was 25 years old, after I had been praying to meet my guru. Within five minutes I knew that he was the person. He was already in his seventies, yet I was fortunate to spend twelve years with him. Rinpoché spent many years of his life in retreat, much of that time in mountain caves in very austere conditions, but he was also very playful and funny. When I was staying in his monastery in India, he would spend 45 minutes giving a straight dharma talk, and then spend the next 45 minutes laughing as he told outrageous stories that related to the teachings. He was always compassionate—so unbelievably gentle and loving. Rinpoché was an activity emanation of Jamgon Kongtrul the Great, one of the three founders of the Rimé movement and one of the most prolific realized writers in Tibetan history.
His awakened activity was, at times, culturally radical. He put Westerners into three-year retreat, made us into lamas, and in my experience, treated women and men with complete equality. Eventually other lamas followed his lead. He was also unusual in that he used all the money given to him in the West to support centers in the West so that the dharma could take root here. His many projects in the East-—including supporting hundreds of monks in his monastery-—were paid for with money offered to him in the East.
When he died in May of 1989, I went back to India for the funeral pujas. On the 49th day, as they were carrying his body (kudung) in a formal procession out of the shrine room, there was a clear blue sky, but at the same time, there was a rainbow around the sun. Suddenly, a bird flew up through the middle of this round rainbow, and I felt as though Rinpoché left at that moment. Yet, I never felt separate from him. In fact, I felt closer, as though my mind had blended with his, inseparably. Not that I don’t have my own psychological patterns to transform and liberate, but I find his presence, his compassion and wisdom always available to draw on, so in that sense I haven’t missed him, though on a human level, I miss him very much. I would dearly love to be able to speak with him. But the extraordinary thing about Vajrayana is that it has produced so many realized teachers. It’s like a relay team: When one’s teacher dies, there are other great masters to study with.
The Sixteenth Gyalwa Karmapa, Rangjung Rikpe Dorje. The Karmapa is the spiritual leader of the Kagyu lineage of Vajrayana Buddhism. Now the 17th Karmapa, Ogyen Trinley Dorje, has taken the place of the 16th.
His Holiness Karmapa was another profound influence on me, way beyond what can be put into words. He didn’t give many formal teachings, but I received many transmissions and empowerments from him and it was a teaching just being in his presence. He had amazing power, but also so much love and generosity. Whenever I would walk into his sitting room, any ego thoughts I had would be immediately apparent, as though they were projected onto a blank screen. Those thoughts were seen to be ridiculous, and they would just drop away. Karmapa was extraordinarily generous with his time. No matter who showed up, he would give them as much time as he had. It didn't matter whether you were a dharma student or not, Eastern or Western. Two of my Mom’s friends went to Sikkim on vacation from Marin. They were older people who owned a garden center. Somehow they heard about the Karmapa, so they went to visit him. Since they were gardeners, he took them around his gardens and showed them all his bonsai. He spent hours with them. Again and again, he displayed this kind of generosity with his time and love.
Around him, there was always much joy and laughter. He liked to tease. He teased my Bhutanese husband all the time. Many of the tulkas and lamas were scared of him because he could see everything that had happened—so he would know things he hadn't been told. Suddenly he'd say, “What were you doing in Calcutta three days ago?” and they would start freaking out, because they’d done something they definitely didn’t want him to know—and he already knew! Then he would give them a bit of a bad time, joking.
The 16th Karmapa also loved birds and kept many in a vast bird house at his monastery. He would teach the ones that could talk to recite mantras and taught many of them to meditate. He was very happy when following their death they would remain sitting up on their perch. He showed them to me when this happened while I was visiting.
In 1980, I was fortunate to travel around the world with him and see his compassion in action. He was very ill at the time, but he never showed it. His compassion and energy were amazing. I would see how tired he was when everyone was gone, but if anybody showed up, no matter what, he was totally present for them.
The history of the Karmapas can be read about in History of the Sixteen Karmapas of Tibet, by Karma Thinley.
Other important teachers:
Dudjom Rinpoché headed the Nyingma lineage at the time when I knew him and was considered an emanation of Guru Rinpoché, Padmasambhava. Though I didn't study extensively with him, I was able to spend a lot of time personally with him, as well as take teachings and empowerments. He had a very sweet energy, full of love and compassion, although I am sure he could be wrathful if necessary. With him, I felt as though I were in truly in the presence of Padmasambhava.
Bokar Rinpoché was Kalu Rinpoché’s successor. He was exceptionally humble—no one would ever know how realized he was, except people like the Dalai Lama. Some thought he was quite conservative, but I found that I was able to talk deeply with him about Western psychology and Western paradigms. We had a powerful meeting of the minds on many subjects. Once, I was telling him about my dharma work in the West as I was starting Sukasiddhi Foundation, and he said to me, “You have my 100% full support.” And then he said, “Everybody needs full support.” I was blown away to hear that from a Tibetan, male Rinpoché. It was something a friend in California would say. Like all the masters I've gotten to know, Bokar Rinpoché had a high level of realization and the nonattachment that goes with it, but with that, such profound, personal connection and love for others. His monastery in Mirik, Darjeeling District, India exudes harmony and peacefulness.
Jamgon Kongtrul Rinpoché, who was a mind emanation of the first Jamgon Kongtrul, came and opened our three-year retreat for us, conducted the ceremonies that completed our retreat, and talked with us individually. I had become close with him in Rumtek, Sikkim where he lived at HH Karmapa’s monastery. We also hosted him during his visits to the States. Everyone adored Jamgon Rinpoché. I had the good fortune to have his ear and counsel until he died tragically in 1993 at the age of 39. See www.jamgonkongtrul.org for the activities of the current Jamgon Kongtrul.
Tai Situpa is the foremost Kagyu master, following Karmapa, of the Kagyu lineage. In this lifetime he grew up, like Jamgon Kongtrul, with the 16th Karmapa. Growing up in the sixties, in addition to his vast academic studies and meditation training, he loved rock and roll music and plays drums. He is a highly accomplished painter, calligrapher, linguist, and feng shui master as well. Over many years he has patiently answered my questions, supported my practice and work. At the age of approximately 19 years, he was requested by the 16th Karmapa to re-establish the traditional seat of the Situpas, Palpung Monastery, in India. Along with his foremost disciple Mingyur Rinpoche, he has done a magnificent job of this. There is a monastery, nunnery, three-year retreat centers for both men and women, and a college for philosophical studies. See www.sherabling.org to see Rinpoché’s amazing artwork and monastery.
Khenpo Tsultrim Gyamtso Rinpoché is the teacher I’ve studied and trained with primarily in the last ten years. When I first met him in the 80’s, he was teaching quite traditionally. After many years of working with Westerners, he changed his approach to something he thought would be more effective, such as combining deep philosophical study, meditation and singing Milarepa’s songs of realization put to Western tunes. His teaching is creative, playful and completely free—funny, alive and embodied. However, he has also been the main Kagyu lama teaching in America to further train the 3-year retreat graduates. He is full of kindness and clarity, and has been deeply supportive of me personally, and of my work, which I am very grateful for.
Dezchung Rinpoché, a great Sakya and Rimé scholar and yogin, was the only teacher who came into our three-year retreat, outside of our resident lama. I received many formal teachings from him, but again, it was his presence that removed so many obstacles in my practice. Like all my teachers, he was loving and supportive of what we were doing. Even though he was a very high lama and highly realized, he had the kind of personality where you could ask him anything. He was curious about us and our practice and very supportive. His biography was published under the name, A Saint in Seattle.
Early influences:
Bill Kwong Roshi, a student of Suzuki Roshi, was my first formal spiritual teacher. I studied with him at Sonoma Mountain Zen Center for only about a year, but it was deeply meaningful to me. At the time, I didn’t understand anything about his lectures on Zen, but I practiced diligently every day. I was quite young, just in my early twenties. I think starting with zazen was good for me and I combined it with an intensive hatha yoga practice. I appreciated Kwong Roshi so much, but Zen did not feel like my primary spiritual home.
Murshida Vera was a Sufi teacher who I studied with after Bill Kwong. I did a great deal of Sufi practice during that time, and much love and joy opened up in my heart, which was deeply healing. She was an amazing women who had done many different things in her life: she'd been a ballet dancer and a famous designer of scarves; she had a Master's degree in special education and had developed a profound secular and spiritual ecumenical curriculum for children. I was studying with her when I met Kalu Rinpoché. I went to her and told her, and she gave me a powerful blessing to go study with him.